Positive Parenting
“I love you”. Can any words possibly sound sweeter or offer greater comfort? Is any statement more natural–or necessary–between a parent and child? In many families, these words come easily. But if you grew up never hearing them, saying “I love you” may feel somewhat unnatural to you. Or if members of your family used loving statements to control or manipulate, you may be very uncomfortable using them with your own children. Many families either don’t communicate loving feelings very often or they communicate them in destructive ways. A counselor friend once told me she was appalled to discover that some of her clients had never heard the words, “I love you” from their parents: “I couldn’t imagine parents who couldn’t say ‘I love you’ to their children, probably because I grew up hearing it all the time. But in the middle of my shock and self-righteousness, I realized that in my family, that statement was always loaded with expectations for me to do something. Most of the time when my parents said ‘I love you’ they would stand there and wait for us to say ‘I love you, too’. If your child does something good or bad just let them know that they are loved . Believe it or not this later affects them.
April 24, 2010 at 5:52 pm
Attachment disorder is the lack of love that is given to a child or an adult because they love others and the other person is in denial of telling them that they LOVE them as well. I had to learn this the hard way, due to the fact that I heard my parents that they loved me. As a child I didn’t have parents to hold me, hug me, kiss me, or tell me that they loved me. To this day this becomes a problem because to many people tell other people that they LOVE them and they really don’t. I tell people however ” Love Ya” and that’s a huge difference than telling someone that you really love them. How? Simply because saying I LOVE YOU comes with actions as well. If you love someone than you simply will prove it to them.